That Time My Managers Shrieked...

Here's a thing about working for a Japanese company that is probably a bit different than working for an American one: performance reviews. Now, that doesn't sound different on the surface. Employees, especially new ones, undergo reviews all the time. What sets the Japanese model apart is that you are given a handout--much like you would in the 4th grade--and then you grade yourself, and write comments beneath each section. Your managers have this same handout, and they grade you. You then give them your copy so they can look it over, make a scan for records, and then you set a meeting date and time.

You go into this meeting with no knowledge of how they graded you, but with them having full knowledge of how you graded yourself. The meeting always starts the same: thanking each other for setting the date and time, and for taking the time to meet (when you really had zero say in it), and then small talk. Small talk is a cornerstone in Japanese business. All meetings start with 5-10 minutes of nothing, whereas in America there is no beating around the bush. All parties understand why there is a meeting, so you just have your meeting. This style is seen as abrasive over here.

Small talk is not my favorite. I personally think it is a waste of time, most especially in a meeting setting when everyone knows the purpose of meeting. But, I'm a team player--at least at work--so we start with small talk after our 1-2 minutes of thanking each other was over.

One manager opened our small talk portions with the ever awkward question of "if you stayed in America how would your life be different?" which sounds more rude than it was meant. She was trying to ask if I was homesick, and missed what opportunities I may've had lined up over there. But, this brings us to why this was awkward and why I had two middle aged Japanese women shriek "Nani!" and "What!" loud enough that the rest of the office heard.

See, they knew my degree was National Security and Intelligence related, but that isn't something that fully connected. Even in America, that gets some eyebrows raised. In Japan, where everything is "safe" and peachy, well... disconnect is an understatement. So, after a pause of trying to figure out how to word my answer, I said "well... I probably would've been hunting terrorists or something, so... yeah my life here is very different."

Cue the shrieks. Cue me restating my degree, and trying desperately to get them to just start the meeting. It took awhile. they started asking me follow up questions like if the building was safe.

So, yes, performance reviews are awkward. I don't like the style they're done at over here. All this could've been avoided if we didn't do small talk.